Don’t do a Steak Dinner with a Vegan… and Other First Date Tips

Well, well, well, you’re single and dating. Maybe even dating again (after being married since cellphones were the size of bricks). You’ve matched, swiped, bumbled, mingled religiously, swum with lots of fish and you’re ready to meet the face behind the profile. WTF now? I’ll tell you what. You’re gonna sweat. A lot.

Is it hot in here?

When it comes to online dating, it’s one thing to play the “like“ game. Which by the way, is flattering at first… if the profile pic is really them. It quickly goes from flattering, too scary, to sweaty. I mean wrapped up in a hot fear burrito of grade nine style dread with a side of gut rot sweaty.

Because that sweat you start doing about 12 hours before your date is not a gym sweat or even a cleansing sweat. It’s the sweat of darkness and the unknown. It smells like a slow cooker that been on high for way too long. And you can’t stop it. This is the body’s reaction to change. We don’t like the unknown so we proceed to flight or fight sweat mode.

But eventually, sweaty or not, if there’s any potential there, you’ve gotta meet in person. Don’t get me wrong. I also talked to plenty of duds that only want to talk and never actually have any intention of meeting. Those are the folks that fear the dating sweats. And there are plenty of them. Don’t get discouraged. This is date weeding.

Be prepared

Now, all of my online first dates turned out to be dinner dates because I spent enough time getting to know these gentlemen beforehand via the interweb. Dinner dates are fine. Pro tip: I don’t shave my legs for five days before a date, so I will not make any rash (get it?) decisions later in the night. Sometimes you can’t even trust yourself. And knowing your leg hair is like an SOS pad will shut down any possible nakedness.

Do not enter

Here’s a list of bad places you do not want to meet someone on a first date you’ve set up through dating sites.

1. Your home. No way!

2. Their home. No way!

3. A movie. Thumbs down.  You need to have a conversation to decide if you’re interested in each other. Wait until you’ve been together for 20 years and have nothing to say to each other to go to a movie.

4. A commercial chain coffee shop. Again, no. If the place you’re meeting has cardboard trays anywhere in sight, or you have to get a key that’s attached to a massive serving spoon from the cashier to use the bathroom, please CANCEL and keep on swiping.

Don’t do a steak dinner with a vegan

Don’t try and change the other person’s mind by doing something they don’t like. For instance, if they hate hiking, don’t take them on the most beautiful 10k because you know they’ll change their mind. Don’t do a wine tasting with a beer drinker, or a steak dinner with a vegan.

Keep it simple. Respect their choices. They should respect yours and you can meet in the middle. A safe, short, two-hour middle and see it for what it is: Practice.

And sometimes when you practice a lot, you need a break. And that’s when you can take yourself out. You know you’ll show up, pick a great restaurant, get yourself home safely and be very respectful.

And you’ll never fear sweat. Not even once.

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Erin Keaney

Erin Keaney

  Erin Keaney is an actor, singer and comedian who has toured North America in hit shows including Crazy For You and the original US tour of Rent. She’s appeared on The Comedy Network, YTV, CTV and produces a live stand up show in Toronto called Time Out. Find her online at erinkeaney.com Comments

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